RANDOM MUSINGS ON...WELL...THE WORLD!

            The trip has been over for nearly a week. It remains in our souls and probably will forever. With that said, though, I have some random observations -- really inquiries -- on the rest of the world I'd like to share. I'm speaking in the first person, but Casey shares these inquiries. Feel free to view the questions as rhetorical, if you wish, but I'd really love answers:

            1.         Why doesn't the rest of the world know how to cook scrambled eggs and bacon? This is perhaps the greatest mystery of the trip. Scrambled eggs should be solid, not liquid. Bacon should be brown and crisp, not warm and raw. Do Americans just have a different palette? Or are eggs and bacon a uniquely American dish that the rest of the world doesn't really care to cook properly? Everywhere we went in Europe and Asia, the eggs were runny and the bacon was raw. I understand that raw food has long been a delicacy elsewhere -- fish in Japan and steak tartare in France. But, folks, chicken ova and pork fat should not be treated like sushi!

            This isn't a matter of not knowing how to cook the products. At the Grand Hyatt Shanghai, for instance, they had two vats of bacon -- one loaded with gross, raw bacon and one containing bacon that was so crisp, it broke into pieces with just a smile. Why serve the former? At the Caravelle in Ho Chi Minh City, I asked the lady at the omelet station to make a couple of scrambled eggs. She pointed out that there were scrambled eggs on the buffet line. I denied that outrageous claim, pointing out that the bowl in question was filled with liquid chicken embryo. I wanted SCRAMBLED EGGS. Given the communication barrier, I asked her to make me an omelet, only with nothing in it and with constant stirring rather than a single flip. She made perfect scrambled eggs. It can be done, world. No matter what you think of America and Americans, please heed this simple advice: COOK SCRAMBLED EGGS AND BACON THOROUGHLY! This could be one of those unique acts that improve international relations.

            2.         Why is the rest of the world so much more relaxed, possessing such a better outlook on life? My word, Americans are uptight. Just spending a few days anywhere else makes that clear. People in Europe and Asia work for a living; they don't live to work. American lives are so often centered around our jobs. We work our rear ends off, taking a holiday if and when time permits. People elsewhere live life, demanding holidays. They work in a manner consistent with their lives. Their lifestyles dictate their work, not the other way around. Life is short. (And at 51 years of age, it seems to be getting shorter and shorter for me.) Why do Americans spend their entire lives working and stressing out, only to pass away with a tidy bank account that their descendants then use to build a career so they can work and work and also die with money? Why don't we live to the fullest during this very short time we have, even if it means we can't buy the best glass of chardonnay on the menu?

            I've traveled in the U.S. to places where people give up promising professional careers and join the service industry just to live there (like Laguna Beach and even Austin, Texas). That is especially common in Europe. In Amsterdam, we met Americans who had lucrative jobs in the "States," but gave up those jobs to move to Amsterdam to relax and enjoy life. And how much more relaxed can one be than to sit in a coffee shop and sip a cappuccino while smoking hash? It really is a completely different world.

            3.         The history is elsewhere. When you're viewing ancient temples in Siem Reap or Kathmandu -- temples constructed countless centuries ago -- you realize that the Liberty Bell and Mount Rushmore, while lovely, don't reflect a lot of history. It's sometimes easy to lose sight of the fact that America has existed only a few hundred years whereas the remnants of tradition in other nations reflect many hundreds of years. We all need to put our ethnocentricity aside and recognize that there are generations that existed before anyone even contemplated an "America." And those folks built beautiful, wonderful things we all need to see. When I heard someone on this trip say, "This temple was constructed in the 1600s," all I could think is that we had the Puritans back then, so maybe we have some equally old stockades we can show off. Somehow, stockades don't seem to compare to walls reflecting every sexual intercourse position of the Kama Sutra (Nepal).

            4.         How can we rid ourselves of political deadlock? Kathmandu, Nepal is one of the most beautiful places we visited. In fact, it is a stunningly gorgeous place and the first one to which I will return in the future. Yet, the city -- and country -- is dirt poor. How can this be? They have some of the most important tourist attractions in the world. Mount Everest is there, for pete's sake. Bill Chalmers told me that Nepal suffers from the same kind of political gridlock that plagues America. Two political factions that are far apart on what is best for the country. The result is that no one can feel confident investing in the nation. What a shame!

            By the way, stepping away from Nepal for a moment, will we ever reach the point where we realize the utter nonsense of religion (which perhaps once served a purpose in placating the masses and did give us lots of pretty stuff, but has truly lost its utility)? Will we ever allow people to advance beyond mysticism so they can be fed and treated with respect? I was an unabashed atheist before this trip and what the trip did was to confirm that my atheism, philosophically based, has tremendous pragmatic grounds as well. If we can ever get rid of all this ridiculous religious regimen, we might actually be able to do something meaningful for people around the world and end a lot of social problems. (Of course, the god described in the Judeo-Christian book may not like that, since he seems to thrive on conflict and misery, but I digress.)

            Nepal is a nation filled with beauty, history and amazing natural phenomenon, and I will be back. What a shame I'll be paying the same hotel rates I might pay in Bessemer, Alabama at the Regal 8 to visit one of the greatest places on earth. The people of Nepal deserve better.

            5.         Wonderful people are everywhere. I'll be honest with you. My biggest fear on this trip is that Casey and I would not be treated with respect because we're Americans. Since George W. Bush invaded Iraq without provocation, and we became known as the "preemptive strike" nation, I have worried about traveling abroad. A few years ago, I was treated with abject disrespect in London simply because I am from America. The trip occurred right after the revelation that our basis for invading Iraq was utter nonsense. I understandably worried that I would be treated the same this go-around. But nothing like that happened here. No one even gave a hint of looking down at us because we're Americans. Forgive me if you're a right-winger, but I have to believe that the election of a minority as President -- the election of a man who descended from people who were slaves not long ago in our nation to the highest office of the nation -- changed perceptions from the Bush (i.e., entrenched political family) era. I won't get political here (you all know I'm as liberal as McGovern) but I do believe America has re-established herself as a nation the rest of the world likes. We went from most respected (pre-Bush) to least respected (post-Bush invasion of Iraq) to most respected (election of Obama) status. As simplistic as that may sound, I believe it. In any event, we did not perceive or detect one iota of anti-Americanism during this trip in a single one of the numerous countries we visited. (Yet, 10 years ago, I was treated with nothing but abject disrespect when traveling abroad, to the point the I just started lying that I am from Canada).

            Times have a'changed. And for the better. America is on a better path. And so is the rest of the world. I look forward to exploring both even more in the future. Thank you, Bill and Pamela, for setting us on the right course. I hope you'll allow me to be a part of any future trips.